Love: why should we be wary of “lovebombing”?

Attentions, compliments, tender gestures: so many clues that encourage us not to be wary and immediately put us in confidence during a new relationship. This is precisely the goal of “lovebombing” (literally “love bombardment”), a manipulation technique observed in narcissistic perverts. The objective of this approach is to obtain the complete trust of the other and to establish a relationship of control.

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Seize the other to better dominate

According to the « New York Times », this is how manipulative people get the upper hand over their partner. By showering them with attention, you give the impression of being the alter ego, the ideal person: the other will never find better. The goal: to isolate her from her surroundings and exercise control over her. According to the American media, “lovebombing” is often the breeding ground for domestic violence: under such influence, it is difficult to get rid of a manipulative and violent partner. We also accept toxic behaviors more easily.

How to recognize it?

How to tell the difference between simple gestures of love and “lovebombing”? Several signs distinguish this harmful technique from healthy attention, as shown in a study conducted by psychiatrist Dale Archer and detailed in « Psychology Today ». First, beware of relationships that go very quickly. If your Bumble date proclaims his love to you when you have just kissed him, run away. Compliments, constant attention, very premature promises of the future and gifts are also warning signs.

But these are not the only characteristics of this manipulation. Worthlessness, a moody personality, guilt and the feeling that your partner is playing on his superiority are other signs mentioned by the psychiatrist. Lovebombing usually ends in rejection: the person leaves you cowardly to manipulate someone else. A new form of toxic ghosting.

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