Marrying or committing to a person as a couple is one of the steps that every human being he hopes to give in his life, there are always exceptions and there are those who defend his singleness, but if you are one of those who have fallen in love and want to share his life, you should know that one of the most important steps is to bring fears and anxieties.
The members of the couple always have doubts about the relationshipBut it is good to speak freely about these fears, either with the other person or in therapy, in order to establish an authentic relationship. Some experts detailed that there are seven main fears that couples have in relationships.
To have children or not
There are couples who agree not to have children, but what happens when one of the members does want and the other does not, or both want it, but there are situations in which it is not possible to have a family, the latter is one of the fears that according to experts have some partners, as society can be very pushy.
What you should do is talk to your partner about whether or not you want to have a family. In case you cannot have a biological family, consider adoption or, better yet, get involved with the many people in the world who need all the love you have to give.
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Fear of being alone
If they tell you that almost no one marries thinking that divorce is wrong, there is a fear that the marriage could end due to infidelity. Divorce is feared because of the fear of being left without a partner, especially if one suffers from low self-esteem, because then he feels that he is not good enough and therefore he will never be able to have another partner. This is what keeps people clinging to bad marriages.
The fear of not having a partner is also due to the fact that the partner does not care about one’s health, which leaves the healthy couple in fear that illness and death will leave them without a partner and a shared father for the children. . Remember that you are adequate in yourself, with or without a relationship, and that a relationship does not define you or your worth as a person.
Love is over
There are loveless couples who have become emotionally estranged because they have unresolved problems and accumulated resentments, they fear that if these problems remain unsolved, they could remain locked in a painful marriage, without love, without emotional intimacy, and that they could remain unsatisfied forever. This fear of never having love in their lives is due to staying in the marriage for reasons such as pressure from parents, children, social status, or financial security.
Never avoid talking about uncomfortable topics. Always keep the lines of communication open and genuinely share your thoughts and feelings with your partner. Being your “real” self and risking being vulnerable is your only chance for an emotionally intimate and meaningful relationship.
There is no passion
The lack of physical intimacy in a relationship, if left unaddressed, can result in the permanent state of an ‘asexual marriage’. The reasons for the lack of physical intimacy can be physiological or psychological. There may be organic causes and in some cases medical and surgical intervention may be necessary.
Sometimes denial of sex is a passive aggressive act on the part of one to get revenge on the other, and this can also become a permanent state if the problem is not resolved. Preference for personal pleasure with pornography, or later ignorance about mutual pleasure can also be responsible for asexual marriages.
Never ignore the lack of physical intimacy, as it often gives an idea of the state of emotional intimacy in the relationship. Communicate the need for sexual counseling with your spouse to determine if there is a relational cause or a physical problem with one or both. And then take the appropriate steps to solve the same.
There is a saying that says when poverty enters the door love escapes through the window and it may be true. The fear that the couple will squander their money is complex, for men it is the fear that, in the event of a divorce, their wife will leave with half their wealth. For women it is the fear that if you don’t keep your income aside, you could be left penniless if your partner uses your income indiscriminately. This can continually create immense stress on couples today.
According to one counselor, couples need to think in terms of ‘our’ money and not ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ and create financial values and lifestyle choices in terms of savings and expenses. They should analyze the delay in gratification by deciding what are the needs, comforts, and luxuries. They should also discuss a retirement plan.
Couples often fear the loss of the health of their partner or themselves. The thought of caring for your partner through a debilitating illness and not living the life of your dreams can be quite overwhelming and distressing for some people. The economic cost of illness also creates fear, as well as fear of dependency and being a burden.
Health problems are something that couples should consider, as they are a challenge that both have ‘chosen’ to face ‘together’. From a practical point of view, medical insurance is recommended.
Lose your individuality
Some people fear that their individuality will be sacrificed or if their spouse may be too demanding and too controlling, it is a problem. A healthy marriage is made up of two independent and self-sufficient people with separate and mutual interests. If one fears that one’s individual growth and dreams are being overridden, and if one’s opinions are discarded and unvalued, then one could feel claustrophobic, suffocated, and unable to breathe in the relationship, and resentment could brew against whom. try to control the other.
Remember that a healthy couple is one in which there is a correct balance between the time of “us” and the time of “me” to pursue their own interests without being envied by them. If a relationship supports the personal growth of both of you, and if you both encourage each other to pursue individual dreams and aspirations while maintaining the couple’s sacred space, it is a healthy relationship.
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